Love Finds a Way

Today we lost a brilliant and beautiful soul, my friend Justin Bruckbauer. When my husband found me crying and I told him, he said that if you are going to let love into your heart, then you have to remember the goodness and joy that he brought into your life.

He was so right. If you met Justin, you couldn’t help but feel the love that he had for everyone who crossed his path. He was accepting, smart as a whip, and so very knowledgeable.

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2015–Justin joined us for our annual donation to The Melodies Center. Pictured with me and Dr. Gozman.

Justin taught me that no matter how much my heart breaks, love will always find a way to heal it. He taught me that despite the pain of losing someone special, I am grateful to have known the power of love and soak it in as this is what gets us through the sadness.

I had the privilege to see Justin this past Monday. I felt a sense of urgency to go see him and knew I had to visit. I am so very thankful that I did. We had the most engaging, fun, and fantastic conversation. Justin asked, “You like the Marvel movies, don’t you?” “Yes, I do,” I replied.

And then he was off. Justin talked about which movies came out first and how the infinity stones were entwined in the different series. He showed me the trailers to the new Logan and Guardians of the Galaxy 2 movies, and said how he looked forward to seeing them. I will go watch them in memory of this beautiful young man, who was a superhero to so many.

We talked about Greek, Roman, Norse, and Irish mythology. His faith and knowledge of the Bible and history amazed me. I felt completely at home talking to him about art and writing, and we discussed what other superheroes we could create. We even talked about Wonder Woman, my favorite.

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We could have kept talking forever, and it makes me sad that I won’t have the chance to continue our conversations. But Justin gave me the gift of love on Monday, and I will forever keep my heart open, so I will always know that feeling. It hurts, I know, but the alternative of not sharing my love with kids battling cancer isn’t an option. My heart breaks for his family and especially his incredibly brave and strong momma.

Justin, I know I will see you in my dreams as the superhero you are. Give my boy a hug for me.

Expanding your Heart

This past weekend was the 4th annual Purple Tie Affair benefiting Nick’s Fight to be Healed Foundation and The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society through Team in Training program. It’s always a night of celebration, good food, and dancing, but at this event many hearts were bursting.

In the beginning of the evening, we held a special cocktail hour that gave those affected by cancer a chance to share their story. I spoke about our foundation and welcomed everyone to enjoyed themselves, but asked that tomorrow everyone think about what they could do to help a child beat cancer. We all have a special light or passion within ourselves that we can use to make the world a better place and to make a difference for someone battling cancer.

Purple Tie committee and Anthony Yevoli LLS Boy of the Year making a fantastic speech.

Nick had a huge heart. He was such a love bug, compassionate, and enthusiastic. He had a zest for life that was infectious. When I lost Nick instead of sealing off my heart to life, I opened it and reached out to help others with the assistance of my friends and family. I can’t change what happened to my son and losing him will always leave a gap in my life. But by opening my heart and taking on this mission to help children with cancer, Nick has brought more love into my life. He has guided me to children and young adults to make my heart soar with their bravery, determination and simple love of life.

Some of the amazing volunteers and board members of Nick’s Fight!

Today I went to visit my friend, Justin, who has been in the hospital for a bit of time with complications from his treatments. Justin is the ultimate warrior. He has had a rough road, but he remains brave and true to his desire to be healed. Justin was a bit low when I arrived. He looked tired and was curled up in his bed.

I sat and we began to talk about all the fantabulous Marvel comic movies that have been made throughout the years and how they all thread together. Justin knew the characters, the connections, and what movies were being made and were coming out this year. As he spoke, his eyes lit with enthusiasm and true interest. Then our conversation continued onto Greek, Roman, Norse, Egyptian, and Irish mythology. Justin is a powerhouse of knowledge and as anyone knows I love Marvel comics and mythology. When we talked about the Renaissance, I knew we shared something special. By the time I had to leave, Justin was sitting up in bed drinking a coffee coolatta!

I wish that Justin had never gotten cancer. The same way I feel about Nick and every child who has been diagnosed. But if I would have sealed myself off from this world, never to be around children and young adults who are battling, I would have never met Justin. So much of what Justin loves is what Nick loved, and he made me so happy to sit there and talk about what we are both passionate about. Spending time with Justin today made my heart explode with joy!

I hope our visit helped him too. It’s hard being in the hospital every single day when you only want to be at home and with your friends. Justin is a true knight that King Arthur would surely have had at his round table, and when he is better, I hope that he will join Nick’s Round Table.

Thank you, Justin for chilling with me today! Feel better!