Smashing Cancer!

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Regan and Abby

On Sunday, March 19, Nick’s Round Table’s fundraising chair, Sarah Collins, organized a fundraiser at Smashburgers in Clifton Park. She and other members worked hard to spread the word. Regan, who is currently battling cancer and Abby, who is done with her treatment joined Nick’s Fight to be Healed Foundation for their first fundraiser at Smashburger’s in Clifton Park. This was the first time Abby ever had a burger, and it would appear that the Smashburger Kids’ meal was a success!

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My husband, Luke, and his U12 Clifton Park A-team had just played a soccer game and came in all hungry and ready to chow down for a great cause!

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Siblings were happy to join in!

 

 

167 people joined us during this fundraiser. Smashburger donated $2 for every person who ordered an entree or kids’ meal. As a benefit they had a 1/2 off milkshake special and 71 people took advantage of it! I heard they are the best in the area!

Thank you to Leo and Sue Butera for your support and donating $334 to Nick’s Round Table that will be used to support local children battling cancer! Thanks to everyone who came out to eat!

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Karen Patchell, didn’t have Chloe with her, but rather good friends, Kathy and Craig!

Love Finds a Way

Today we lost a brilliant and beautiful soul, my friend Justin Bruckbauer. When my husband found me crying and I told him, he said that if you are going to let love into your heart, then you have to remember the goodness and joy that he brought into your life.

He was so right. If you met Justin, you couldn’t help but feel the love that he had for everyone who crossed his path. He was accepting, smart as a whip, and so very knowledgeable.

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2015–Justin joined us for our annual donation to The Melodies Center. Pictured with me and Dr. Gozman.

Justin taught me that no matter how much my heart breaks, love will always find a way to heal it. He taught me that despite the pain of losing someone special, I am grateful to have known the power of love and soak it in as this is what gets us through the sadness.

I had the privilege to see Justin this past Monday. I felt a sense of urgency to go see him and knew I had to visit. I am so very thankful that I did. We had the most engaging, fun, and fantastic conversation. Justin asked, “You like the Marvel movies, don’t you?” “Yes, I do,” I replied.

And then he was off. Justin talked about which movies came out first and how the infinity stones were entwined in the different series. He showed me the trailers to the new Logan and Guardians of the Galaxy 2 movies, and said how he looked forward to seeing them. I will go watch them in memory of this beautiful young man, who was a superhero to so many.

We talked about Greek, Roman, Norse, and Irish mythology. His faith and knowledge of the Bible and history amazed me. I felt completely at home talking to him about art and writing, and we discussed what other superheroes we could create. We even talked about Wonder Woman, my favorite.

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We could have kept talking forever, and it makes me sad that I won’t have the chance to continue our conversations. But Justin gave me the gift of love on Monday, and I will forever keep my heart open, so I will always know that feeling. It hurts, I know, but the alternative of not sharing my love with kids battling cancer isn’t an option. My heart breaks for his family and especially his incredibly brave and strong momma.

Justin, I know I will see you in my dreams as the superhero you are. Give my boy a hug for me.

Sammie on Surviving Cancer

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I first met Sammie three weeks after I lost Nick. We had planned a fundraiser with the Mayo, Romano, and Sagnelli families at the 99 Restaurant. Nick was excited to get involved and give back. Then he suddenly passed. I was numb and in pain. When I walked through the door, I saw this darling little girl with tight brown curls circling her round face. She had happy eyes, and we connected from that day forward.

I have been through a lot with Sammie and have seen her ups and downs. My husband and I just brought Stephen back to college yesterday, and I have to admit, I was very sad and need a day or two to get myself back together. Plus, I think of Nick and the fact that he will never go to college.

So I wanted to focus on a survivor who would now be attending college, and I thought of Sammie, in addition to so many others who I will feature soon. Sammie wrote her thoughts about what we need to know about children with cancer and what gives her hope. It was so well-written and honest that I’m including her words.

Janine: What do you want people to know about children battling cancer?

Sammie: I want people to understand that the children who battle cancer, can and (God willing) do survive. I understand we often hear about children passing away and dying from cancer, and I’m hopeful those statistics will change for the better in the future. But we need to change our expectations of what a childhood cancer diagnosis means and stop associating it with death and sickness. We need to change our expectations of what a childhood cancer survivor looks like.

I was a child who survived cancer, became healthy again, returned to sports, began attending school again, whose hair grew back, graduated high school, and now will be attending college. Often friends and teachers are shocked hearing that I am a childhood cancer survivor. I am a very talkative and an extroverted person. When people find out they will make comments like, “I would have never known you are …,” their sentence trails off, but I know what they mean. They are surprised that I’m “normal.” To be fair, no one would know I survived cancer when I was 9 years old. I don’t walk around with an “I had Cancer” t-shirt. I feel like they expect a really introverted, quiet, sort of mysterious person as oppose to a happy and bubbly one. It’s important to understand that every survivor wears their trauma differently.

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Sammie gave back during and after her cancer journey. It heals and helps others fighting the same battle.

I understand my previous illness may be unknown to a stranger or at a first glance. But I am more than my illness. It does not define me. I wish people would really understand that childhood cancer survivors, or even fighters, are so much more than their illness. So much is constantly changing in a child’s life, and cancer is something they will move on from. I wish more people would know that ‘cancer kids’ have the possibility of returning to “normal” life and planning for a future.

Another incredibly important thing I wish people knew about children who survive cancer is that the pain isn’t “less” because it happened to a person when they were younger. It has to be understood that the childhood of a childhood cancer survivor is much different than someone who didn’t have cancer. I’ve discussed this with a therapist and the best way to describe it is comparing it to a tree. Imagine a full grown tree. The tree represents your entire life. The bottom or roots of the tree is where you started growing or your youngest age. As you get older you move up the tree. The earlier trauma happens in a person’s life the more it affects how the tree grows, or how you shape your life and the person you become. Because cancer happens to a person as a child does not mean it changes them “less” than an adult who survives cancer. It actually affects them and who they are as a person more so. And because I get asked this question a lot, yes I do remember my cancer, chemo, and surgeries. I for the most part I remember everything I haven’t already suppressed.

Janine: What give you hope/support to get through each day?

Sammie: At times it can be either really difficult or incredibly easy to find hope to get through the day. There are days I feel empowered and strengthened because I overcame my illness. I feel like I can do or be anything I want. On those days I feel like I am on top of the world, and on other days it feels like the world is on top of me.

I do suffer from PTSD as a result of my cancer. On some days it feels crushing, impossible, and confusing. It is very easy to get stuck on pointless questions of “Why? How? What?” Some days you have no choice but to sit with your thoughts and feel the pain all over again in order to let it go for the moment. Whenever I go for a checkup or a routine scan, anxiety usually accompanies it because I fear my illness returning. If I’m having a bad day I’ll calmly tell myself, “Sammie… You have air in your lungs and your heart is beating.. .You are alive… Cancer may have taken things from you, but you have today… and tomorrow… and the rest of your life….”

Although some days are nasty and feel unbearable, I take comfort in knowing I am incredibly strong. I find hope in the fact that I survived, and my struggles have made me incredibly tough and resilient. I have much more to live for, and I know I am capable of more than I currently believe.

Although my life was completely changed by surviving cancer, I find hope in knowing that everything I’ve been through is all in God’s plan for me. Things were meant to be this way and happen the way they did. I have hope in knowing I can love myself despite the physical and emotional scars cancer gave me. I used my cancer to make myself more passionate, ambitious, and determined in pursuit of my goals.

I guess you could say my biggest hope comes from the fact that I am alive.

What Makes Them Amazing

Featured from Left to Right:
Back Row: Stephen Cammarata with a photo of his brother Nick, Sammie Sagnelli, Kassidy Krenzer, Kirstin Hodges,
Marcus & Jaclyn Romano with a photo of  their brother Luke
Front Row: Zach Dymond, Ben Mayo, Nick Bowen, Nick Heald

Two years ago I started interviewing young adults who were either in the midst of battling cancer or had cancer as a child and were still dealing with the physical ramifications. In addition I interviewed the family and friends of Luke Romano who lost his valiant battle with cancer and I wrote about my son Nick who was my link to the world of cancer after he was diagnosed. 

Every young adult featured in this book gave back to the community and other cancer families through fundraising, sharing their experiences, offering a shoulder to cry or lean on, or leaving an inspiring legacy. Their journeys laid the groundwork for my latest book: What Makes Them Amazing: Inspiring Stories of Young Adults Fighting Cancer

From each young adult, I have learned that there is more than one way to get through cancer, to live with loss, to go on, or to give back; laughter and love can get you through almost anything; and there is always HOPE.

My wish is that everyone who reads this book will realize that “Nothing is Impossible,” as Nick told his little brother Stephen and that you will give a copy of this book to anyone battling cancer.  You don’t have to have cancer to appreciate the lessons these young adults share. You only need an open heart and mind.

Proceeds from the sales of this book are donated to Nick’s Fight to be Healed Foundation.  A copy of this book will be given to every pediatric cancer patient being treated at The Melodies Center for Childhood Cancer and Blood Disorders at Albany Medical Center as part of our mission to help children heal. 

If you’d like a copy of this book or wish to attend upcoming book events, please go to www.fighttobehealed.org for more information.

These young adults touched my heart and I know you will be amazed.