To All the Warriors

Today is 9 years since Nick was diagnosed with cancer. 9 years since his own independence was taken away and then his precious life. 

Contrasts have been a major theme for me this week and it’s been tough. I think about all the children and young adults who are battling cancer right now. Some have just found out that their lives have changed, some are healed, some have relapsed one, two, three times, some are away getting transplants, and some are saying goodbye to their families. 

For each and every one of them, cancer has taken away their freedom to live a happy and fulfilling life. It has yanked them off their path and thrown them into a war. It has irrevocably changed their lives and their families. 

It breaks my heart and is difficult to live with. 

But then I see the joy that our kids find through the tragedy, the loss, and the restrictions. They understand what they can no longer do. But instead of letting it defeat them; instead of allowing cancer to take away their independence, they fight and treasure what they are able to do. 

I have often been impressed by their tenacity, altruism, and determination. I have cried from their loss, but refuse to let it break me, because they don’t give up. 

Today I remember my boy, Luke, Justin, Reese, and all the other children and teens who never gave up, but fell in battle. I honor those who are fighting so hard like Zach, Markel, and everyone else in the throes of their battle. 


Today we remember our freedom, and I thank everyone who keeps us safe. My heart and love goes out to those who fight a different battle every day of their lives. 

Miss you, Nick ❤️

10 Years!

sammie (3)

I met Sammie Sagnelli three weeks after I lost Nick to cancer. She had been fighting a hard battle, and her hair was short and curly circling her angelic face. We met at the fundraiser that Nick was supposed to be involved in. This young girl became a part of my life, and her vibrancy and zest for life helped me through some of my darkest moments missing my boy.

When a child hits a milestone, whether it’s a day cancer free or a week, a month, a year, 5 years or 10 years, first I want to fist pump the world and say, “Thank goodness!” Second, I think about that child’s potential and all she has to offer to the world, now that she is healed.

Sammie went on and continued to play softball through high school. She has always loved to bake, and I remember when she was on a dog biscuit baking phase. My dogs enjoyed them! Sammie also was incredibly involved with Nick’s Round Table, and her knowledge and understanding of what kids needed during treatment enhanced what we did.

IMG_1177
Amazing officers of Nick’s Round Table!
IMG_5435
Sammie speaking at a conference.

Sammie is a voice for others and isn’t afraid to speak up and share how cancer affects a child not only while they are in treatment, but after. Children may not realize side effects until they are older. And they aren’t just physical. Emotional side effects play a huge part in a child’s battle with cancer and can take a lifetime to heal.

IMG_00001390
Autumnfest at Hope Club, Latham

Sammie has never been afraid of being herself and sharing her time with kids who need support. Her love of Katniss and the Hunger Games is still probably very strong, and I think she can relate to the idea of being forced into something that you don’t want to do, but then you realize that you are stronger than you thought you were. Others see that and view her as a role model.

IMG_0288
Making quilts with fellow volunteer, PK

That is what Sammie has become. A role model for other kids who are battling cancer. To look at Sammie now, you would never know how sick she was as a child. She gives us hope, she spreads joy, and is making the world a better place just by being here! Now a college student, Sammie is living the life that she wants and deserves. Cancer can never take that away from her.

So happy that you have reached an amazing milestone, Sammie! I love you and am so grateful to have you in my life! Maybe next time I see you, you’ll have made some yummy desserts! Hint, hint!!